interrupting violence
Being targeted with harassment because of your race, sex, religion, color, gender, size, orientation, disability, age, or origin is demoralizing and can impact our lives in many ways. But being targeted while surrounded by bystanders who see what is happening, but then do nothing, can make us feel even more isolated and alone.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
In recent history, we’ve been witnessing a spike in disrespect, harassment, and hate violence. As bystanders, we must be especially vigilant and aware of what these harms can look like, so that we’re ready to stand up and intervene.
When we intervene, not only do we reduce the trauma of harassment for the person who was harmed (yes, harassment can cause trauma!)…we also slowly chip away at the culture of harassment, and replace it with one of humanity.
What’s worse than experiencing harassment related to your identity? Well, what’s worse than being harassed in public is being surrounded by bystanders who see it happening, but do nothing about it.
You can make a choice to actively and visibly take a stand against harassment. The 5Ds are different methods you can use to support someone who’s being harassed, emphasize that harassment is not okay, and demonstrate to people in your life that they too have the power to make our communities and workplaces safer.
The 5Ds of Bystander Intervention
DISTRACt
Delegation is asking a third party for help with intervening in harassment. The keys to Delegation are:
1. Look for a Delegate who is ready and willing to help. Often, a great choice is the person right next to you.
2. When you Delegate someone to help you, try to tell them as clearly as possible what you’re witnessing and how you’d like them to help.
DELEGATE
Documentation involves either recording or taking notes on an instance of harassment. It can be really helpful to record an incident of harassment, but there are some keys for safely and responsibly documenting harassment:
1. Assess the situation. Is anyone helping the person being harassed? If not, use another of the 5Ds. Recording someone’s experience of harm without ensuring they’re already receiving help can just create further trauma for them. If someone else is already helping out: assess your own safety, and if you are safe, begin documenting.
2. ALWAYS ask the person who was harassed what they want to do with your recording and/or notes. NEVER post it online or use it without their permission.
Document
Distraction is a subtle and creative way to intervene. Its aim is simply to derail the incident of harassment by interrupting it. The keys to good Distraction are:
1. Ignore the person who is harassing, and engage directly with the person who is being harassed.
2. Don’t talk about or refer to the harassment that’s happening. Instead, talk about something completely unrelated.
Delay
Even if we can’t act in the moment, we can still make a difference for someone who’s been harassed by checking in on them after the fact. Many types of harassment happen in passing or very quickly, and it’s not always possible we’ll have a chance to intervene in another way. But we don’t have to just ignore what happened and move on. We can help reduce that person’s trauma by speaking to them after an instance of harassment.
Sometimes, we may want to respond directly to harassment by naming the inappropriate behavior confronting the person doing harm.
Use this one with caution, because Direct intervention can be risky – the person harassing may redirect their abuse towards the intervening bystander, or may escalate the situation in another way. The first key to Direct intervention is to assess the situation before you decide to respond, by asking yourself the following questions:
1. Are you physically safe?
2. Is the person being harassed physically safe?
3. Does it seem unlikely that the situation will escalate?
4. Can you tell if the person being harassed wants someone to speak up?
If you can answer yes to all of these questions, you might choose a direct response.
The second key to Direct intervention is to keep it short and succinct. As tempting as it may be, avoid engaging in dialogue, debate, or an argument – since this is how situations can escalate. If the person harassing responds to your Direct intervention, focus your attention on assisting the person who was harmed, instead of engaging with the person doing the harm.